AN IRISHMAN IN NORTH KOREA
WRITTEN IN NOVEMBER 2016
“Just be careful, be very careful with what you do and say! Don’t gesture to the soldiers, don’t kneel down to tie your lace while taking a photo, don’t question their version of history, don’t say anything offensive about their leader, past or present, don’t shine the light on your phone, bow during every applicable occasion and bring flowers whenever you pay your respects to the former leaders,” and on and on and on and on and on and on and on………..
“It’s a lot to take in” I joke to Ji Huang, the head of the tourist agency in Dandong, China, already trying to remember the other million and one things that he had touched on during our mountain of telephone conversations and Wechat messages over the past few weeks. “Review and sign this contract! If you find yourself in any difficulty you will have limited resources, no Wi-Fi or roaming is allowed in North Korea, and don’t forget to hide Apple Maps on your phone.” “Wait, what if there is an emergency?” I ask in a panicked voice. “You just take the train directly back to China because there are no functioning hospitals in North Korea and limited medicine.
” I’m not sure if this is such a great idea, I think to myself, slightly regretting the fact that I had just paid for the trip, IN ITS ENTIRETY, by completely ignoring the travel warnings offered by the Irish Department of Foreign Affairs along with my parents and others. “Yikes” I tell him “I wish that you covered these points in our earlier conversations.” He begins to laugh. “It’s ok,” he says in a subtle tone. “Nothing bad ever happens to white people, unless they are American, I just need to cover these points with most tourists, like a protocol.” He quickly walks me to the Dandong Train Station, then closer to the bridge.
“Take the train at 8.10 tomorrow morning, clear Chinese customs, show them these forms, and wait upstairs in the other lobby. You will meet with the North Korean customs officials on the other side of the bridge, show them these forms,” he hands me about 20 forms,“They will officially take care of the rest. Be polite and respectful! You seem like a friendly man, so this won’t be a problem. Call me once you arrive back in China and we can meet for some malatang soup with some vermicelli.” Ji Huang walks away in a hurry waving his hand in a somewhat friendly and awkward way.
The Sino Korean Friendship Bridge
My ticket to North Korea
“Mr. Charleton, Mr. Charleton,” I hear repeatedly in the distance upon my arrival at the Pyongyang train station sounding like a panicked voice, about thirty or so feet away. He slowly approaches, wearing a dark jacket, a hat, and gloves. His appearance is vague in the distance, though I can sense that I’m being heavily monitored by more than one pair of eyes. He is not in clear sight but begins running towards me once I notice his hand blowing ferociously from side to side. “It’s great to meet you, my name is Lee” repeatedly shaking my hand wildly during a freezing November evening. “I’ve heard lots about you, thanks so much for visiting my country.”
“You’re very welcome to the DPRK,” he says, this time in a lighter voice, though he now has a look of excitement on his face. “You know many western people have a bad impression of our country. Most of it isn’t true, the American media want you to think this,” one of many anti-American references that I would come to hear over the next three days. “How was your train ride?” he asks. “Not bad” I reply, still a bit shaken that I was officially on North Korean territory for the first time, refusing to count a 10-minute crossing during a guided tour along the DMZ Zone in South Korea a few years prior.
“It was great to see so much of the countryside and the farmers working on their crops” I reply, this time more comfortable with my answers and not as nervous. “The air is really fresh here and the environment is very clean” slyly trying to compliment my government official on day 1,first impressions are always important, right?????????
Getting to know Lee, my first government official
“Yes, probably the cleanest air in Asia” he jokes, “certainly cleaner than China” the only thing that we can both officially agree on. “Pyongyang is a very developed city with a lot of opportunities here for everyone, we have free healthcare, free education and high salaries” a complete contrast to what I’d been told in Dandong, China, but I agree with him anyway. “There are so many cool things to see and do here, we have a captured weapons exhibition that we captured from the Americans during the Korean War and we also took one of their ships, currently in our harbor, and framed an apology from their captain, currently hanging high on our docks. Those Americans should never have been on our territory.” This is absolutely crazy, I continue to say to myself, what on earth am I doing in North Korea? What are my parents thinking right now???????
“And our leader is much better than the American leader” I interrupt, “Oh yes,Kim Jong Un,” “No” he yells, “you can just call him present leader.” “Ok, yes, em, present leader, I occasionally see him on the TV.” “Yes, our leader cares about his people a lot” again contrasting what had been told by the tourist agency in China. “He comes from a great family, a grandfather who single-handedly defeated the Japanese army. We are very proud people, proud of our country and more importantly proud of our history.” Dazed and tired, I turn my attention to the main waiting area. I see giant framed photos of both Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il,
Portraits of the former leaders almost everywhere in North Korea
seems a bit over the top I continue to tell myself. “Let me take you to your hotel” This time putting his hand around me as if we had been best friends for years. The locals stare in disbelief, not sure who they think I am, or what they think I’m planning to do,I wish I could just tell them that I’m not an enemy, only a tourist very curious about this fascinating place, almost completely isolated from the rest of the world.
“Your hotel has a revolving roof on top along with a pool, a sauna, karaoke, a restaurant, and a gift shop.” It would want to have for the extortionately high price I paid for this trip, I tell myself, as the bus brings us to an island, just outside of the main city center district.
Shit, I can’t escape to randomly wander the streets alone now, unaware that I was going to be hidden from the local North Korean people.
Yanggakdo Hotel
Amazing hotel view
Upon arrival at Yanggakdo International Hotel, I’m introduced to my second government official.She looks cranky, maybe the fact that our train was delayed by an hour. She directs me to my room, a fancy room with an amazing view over Pyongyang.
“I’ll give you your wake-up call tomorrow morning at 8 and we can eat breakfast together and listen to some interesting music. We have a famous girl band that dedicate all of their songs to the present leader.” “Ok, sounds great,” I reply, “wait, what?” ”Yes, they are big in the DPRK. They are looking forward to meeting a westerner from so far away.” “Cool, I can’t wait to see them, sounds fun” again, a bit freaked out at the thought of finally being in North Korea, kind of secretly laughing to myself.
“Good morning, please come directly to the restaurant” my first order of the day, “we would like you to meet our famous band and offer you some food” My first official order on day 2 in North Korea. I ran to the elevator and down to the bottom floor and there they were, curtains closed and lights on at 8 am, in all of their glamour, ready to perform, over some fried noodles and a boiled egg.
Blaring music at 8 am
That was entertaining and somewhat very staged and eary and perfectly choreographed. “Were they much better than you expected?” Lee asks. “Most certainly” I reply, “they are a talented bunch of ladies, there’s no questioning that.”
“Right, I want you on the bus now, please follow Lee and wait inside. Today we are going to see the birthplace of Kim Il-Sung. We will stop off for lunch at exactly 12.45, and from there we will ride the Pyongyang Metro, the world’s deepest metro.” I’m shoved onto the bus, and we begin making our way north of Pyongyang. Both my guides sit next to me and continue to tell me about the history of North Korea, and once again how proud they feel to be living in the DPRK, one speaking in my left ear and the other speaking in my right ear, with about two inches of space either side.
Anti-American posters almost everywhere in North Korea
“We really love this country,” he repeats for the fourth time “Do you like our country?” I carefully answer, “Of course, it’s nice here and I can’t wait to explore some more of the country.” “You’re in one of the most developed countries in the world, here we all have access to clean and unlimited water.” Strange, so why do I need to buy bottled water everywhere I go, I continue to wonder to myself. We finally arrive, after two hours on a bus and another thirty minutes trekking through a forest, and in the middle of nowhere, the guide’s voice raises with excitement, points to a stable, and introduces us to the birthplace of Kim Il-Sung.
“This is where our former leader was born, a chilly night in 1912, and there were horsemen nearby who spotted a shooting star. They followed the star and brought gifts for our leader.” “Wow” I raise my voice with excitement, “this is fascinating stuff” Still looking surprised, I once again nod at everything that Lee is telling me.
“So where does the present leader live?” My first of many questions for Lee on my final full day in North Korea. Suddenly his face begins to change as if he had just seen a ghost. “Why exactly do you want to know that” he replies in a panicked voice. “I’m just curious, does he live in Pyongyang itself or a different city?” “This is confidential” he replies again “We cannot talk about this topic.” Lee quickly begins talking more about the anti-American propaganda on display along the streets.
My every move being watched
“We will never be defeated”, Lee proudly says, “we are made of steel, we are one of the only countries in the world where our people are always united, regardless of how far we have to go. We often have military parades and we have the missiles compatible to reach other countries.” yikes, not what I want to be hearing now. “Our present leader has taken a lot of risks to keep us safe from everyone and is always on the lookout for enemies in every direction.”
As we continue to drive around North Korea, I become slightly restless after already spending over 6 hours on the bus. I decide to ask Lee some more challenging questions. “So, have you ever left North Korea?”
“Leave?” he replies, looking quite astonished “Why, would I want to leave this superior country, we are among the best in the world and we remain the best. We have everything here”
I interrupt “Oh no, you must have misheard me, I mean did you ever take a vacation to any other country?”
“No” Lee states “I take all of my vacations in the DPRK”. “Ah, right, I guess your country is a lot bigger than mine, so you have a lot more to see”, I reply, once your people can build more roads, I joke to myself.
So much affection for one man, I’ve never seen anything like this before, as I sit and observe a performance dedicated to the present leader, Kim Jong Un himself, who else, right?
Missiles and explosions keep popping up on the screen behind the performers and the performers and the audience, clap, cheer, and stand at the sight of Kim Jong Un on the big screen, some even close to tears.
I stand along with them and clap at every given occasion, mostly because my government officials are staring at me, on average 7 times a minute and I’m being watched like a hawk by half of the audience. I promise I’m not a bad person, I don’t know what you are all thinking, I’m a genuine guy, clapping ferociously, surrounded by hundreds of North Koreans, and once again I’m the only white guy in the audience and I’m somehow visible from almost every angle.
“This is all because of the Americans, we needed to separate both Koreas” This time Lee working as a translator for a soldier in the middle of the DMZ Zone. “Lots of bloodshed and violence occurred when there was no need to cause any problems” Lee again giving an in-depth translation with hundreds of soldiers training in a nearby field and cautiously guarding the North/South border.
North and South Korea border
“Do you like our country?” he asks. “Yes, the environment is very clean and the food is delicious and I like driving around and getting to know the country a lot better.”
The soldier smiles. “We like to welcome foreigners to our country, except Americans, please come back again and we can chat some more,” this time I notice I’m being observed by more soldiers hiding in the nearby bushes.
“This is a unique place. This is Kim Il-Sung Square, but you’re not allowed to walk there. Just take some pictures from a distance,” Lee’s 240th order of the day. Aha, penny drops, this must be where Kim Jong Un lives, as Lee calls our attention to a different area, trying to hide the fact that he himself is being watched by security guards from the roof. Local North Koreans cycle past us in large numbers and once again they are shocked at the sight of a foreigner. Please take your picture quickly and we can continue to the next destination, Lee looking more and more panicked.
This time I spot soldiers looking at me with a set of binoculars. They are mysteriously standing high on a different tower, refusing to lose sight of me. Back on the bus, I go off to wander some more.
Upon arrival at Pyongyang train station once again Lee has another few messages. “Mr. Charleton, I hope you had a great time in our magnificent country. I hope that you can spread the message about our country that we are not enemies and we are a very peaceful nation. As you can see we live a great life with unlimited resources.” “It was all so great, very memorable and I can’t wait to return someday to your amazing country,” here we go last compliment for Lee. “Mr. Charleton, see you again in the DPRK and you should bring your family next time.” “Sure will Lee, see you soon” as the train departs back to China and Pyongyang fades away in the distance.
